Staying In the Pocket
The midlife transition for women is a time of great upheavals. Being the least researched demographic, very little is known about this demanding time. Some researchers mark it chronologically from ages 44- 59. Others believe it to be 40-60 plus or minus ten years, and other researchers mark it as a time when you are the bridge between two generations: your adult children and grandchildren and your aging parents. This is what they do know. It is a significant period in the lifespan. A time when you are balancing multiple roles up to 8 simultaneously, with the intensity, magnitude, or sheer load increasing, causing you to experience overload and stress. For instance, the Seattle Midlife Women’s Health Study, a comprehensive research project conducted by Thomas et al., Women’s Midlife Health, 2018, found that women identified the most challenging aspects of midlife as changing family relationships, re-balancing work/personal life, rediscovering self, and securing resources. Few women mentioned menopause. Some women mentioned severing a relationship with a long-term partner contributed to being emotionally wounded and a reduced household income. They all experienced higher rates of loneliness. There is no time for leisure or to think about your life plan. It might feel like chaos and confusion while asking yourself where this is all heading.
One of my favorite movies is,” The American Underdog.” The title alone had me because I have always had a heart for the underdog. It’s a true story about Kurt Warner, the quarterback for the Rams. The opening scene is a young Kurt, about 12 years old, watching the Super Bowl game, in which Joe Montana breaks all records. At that time, he knew he wanted to be that guy. When the game is over, he heads outside. He imagines he is in the final quarter of the Super Bowl game; the score is tied; he steps back, throws the ball, makes the goal, wins the game, and becomes the MVP. It’s a big dream!
There are many turbulent times before he reaches that dream.
The quarterback's goal is this: as the walls of humanity are crashing down around him, people are blocking and tackling each other, trying to stop the other team from getting their goal. They must stay calm and in the game of football, what’s known as staying in the pocket, which means trusting the coach’s playbook and teammates, thinking about the plan to reach the goal, and looking for the person in the clear who can help move the play to get the touchdown. Staying in the pocket is about staying focused and composed amidst the chaos, trusting your support system, and strategizing to achieve your goal.
A midlife transition may feel like humanity is crashing down around you. Due to the overwhelming stress and brain fog you are experiencing. It's crucial to maintain your composure and focus. You are the quarterback of your life. Remember, this is a life phase you must go through. The path to your goal may not always be clear, but if you stay true to the plan, you will have transformed into the person you need to be when you achieve it. As your coach, I will take you through a process (your playbook) that includes [creating a set of 5 goals and a 3-step routine], so you are assured of reaching your goal and having the calm and peaceful life you love again.
In the story’s ending scene, he is the quarterback in the last play of the Super Bowl, and the score is tied. He looks around and smiles because he knows his lifelong dream of becoming that quarterback, the MVP of the game, is about to come true. This can be your story...