Transitional Change Divorce in Midlife
One day you are sitting at the breakfast table across from your husband that you’ve been married to for twenty to thirty years. His head is down reading the paper you are answering phone messages or scrolling through your Instagram account. He looks up and says, “I’m leaving”. “I have not been happy for some time now and this all has to go”. You are stunned. What just happened? Frozen with fear not believing what your ears just heard. You knew there were issues just like most relationships but to the level of divorce? You have just experienced what is called a life quake.
I have heard this story many times while also experiencing it in my own life. Before you can begin the Letting Go process of the ending, the first step is to calm the immediate storm of change. Begin to make insightful meaning of what this big change is inviting you to do, an internal transition...what is my opportunity here? During this time, you try to gain a healthy mindset that will serve you in the season of change. Begin by making a checklist. This is a possible checklist of questions it is not comprehensive:
Study the change carefully, what am I likely to lose?
Do I understand the reality of these losses?
Have I acknowledged the loss with empathy?
Have I clearly defined what is over?
Have I found a way to mark the Ending?
Through your mid-life change, you begin to re-write your script since the one you had has run dry. It’s akin to sitting in a theatre with no movie showing on the screen and with nothing to do. It is helpful to create a personal mission statement. This can include family, career, civil service, faith, and health. Explore what you want the new beginning to look like. Ask yourself what do I want and what do I love. You will need a roadmap; without that, you are sure to take several wrong turns.
During this time, you must be patient with yourself as you journey through your neutral zone or messy middle toward your new beginning. Make plans but be prepared to pivot if needed.
Here at Mindy Geary Enterprises, we are committed to providing a transformative path that honors your goals and dreams leaving you with a deeply fulfilling and successful life. If you or someone you know is going through a divorce transition, or any significant midlife change, Call Me, I can help.